Differently Lucky, Not Unlucky!

While I was growing up, I remember how I used to listen to my mother talking over phone to some relative about how a cousin of mine married a girl from a different caste and how this was a huge deal. I remember how getting involved in a love affair used to be and still is a huge deal for my family because according to them, parents are the ones who decide a life partner for their children. I also remember how I weird I felt at even the thought of spending my entire life with a complete stranger let alone an acquaintance. What if the partner and I aren't compatible? What if our likes and interests don’t match. What if we are never unanimous in our decisions? Do we separate? All these questions baffled me and I promised myself I would never marry a stranger. I would wait for the time till I fall in love with someone or someone falls in love with me and exchange rings. Little did I know that the theory on which I based my idea of a perfect love story and an ideal love marriage would turn out to be so flawed? Digging deep into the matter, it turns out that the theory is not flawed, it is just that the sample size that follows the theory is pretty small and I stand out of it.

I was in school when I fell in love for the very first time and I knew it was love as I had never experienced that feeling before. I was sure about it. I wanted to be as close to the person as possible. Wanted to talk, and know more about the likes and interests. I used to imagine the two of us together, sitting shoulder to shoulder and talking, our hands in each others' hands. Did I lack the courage to say it out and propose? I don’t know. It wasn't lack of courage I would say. I was pretty young and since I was one of those studious, career oriented guys, studies was of utmost importance and there was no scope of love brewing up, not at that point of time at least. I realized how shattered I was when school ended and the two of us went to college in cities situated geographically almost 180 degrees apart from each other. That was the beginning of a new phase of life called college life and the end of a love story.

I am not going to put you through the ordeal of reading about vague stories from my life. I’ll straight away come to the point in as crisp manner as possible. When I say I stand out of the sample size, I mean to say that I haven’t been able to complete my love story and I know that ideal love marriage is not going to happen in my life. I don’t say I never developed those feelings again for someone after the first love of my life did not materialize, I just mean to say that the love and affection I have showered on a person has always been unrequited. “I never saw you as a lover, you have always been a good friend”, is one of the typical replies I have got to my proposals and I am not going to share how many times this has happened. I have invested my time and energy in knowing people and loving them and I can say I actually wasted it all. So sitting one day and analyzing all the failed attempts at finding love, I realized how sweet and adventurous it would be to get married to a stranger and then slowly and steadily falling in love with that person. What if our interests don’t match? What if we aren't compatible? All these questions do still boggle me, but now I think I am mature enough to find a way out and still love that person. Isn't that the whole idea behind the institution of marriage? Identifying the similarities, respecting the differences and growing old together? My thinking has evolved over a period of time and by observing my own life and there are absolutely no regrets when I say that I do not have any energy left to keep on looking for true love. The idea is overrated but true, because I have seen and know people actually marrying the people they fell in love with. The ultimate idea is to love someone. Lucky are the ones who marry the person they fall in love with and the ones who start loving the person they married aren't unlucky, they are just differently lucky.